Wednesday, March 02, 2011


I'm going to tell a little story on myself today. Underneath my calm, cool exterior (ha!) I am a ball of anxiety. Sometimes that means that I am worried about work, sometimes my kids, sometimes the schedule, sometimes how much my next dentist appointment is going to hurt. Lately, I've been anxious about whether or not Thomas would get into the preschool we like here in Seattle. We were supposed to find out by March 1st and I was checking my e-mail a lot, waiting for the news. And I was telling myself that it didn't matter. That if he didn't get in, we would figure something out and no matter how much I tried this logical approach, I was anxious. Today I was really frustrated because I still hadn't seen an e-mail (I even checked my snail mail box - nothing). So, I decided to do a search through my inbox to see if I had missed it and guess what - I did. In fact, the e-mail came two weeks ago - before I started looking for it and I overlooked it. Nice. All that anxiety and I had the answer all along (he got in - yay!).

I'd like to say that this little incident will teach me a lesson and I will stop worrying about everything, but it would not be true. I will TRY to think of this and remember that all of my worries are not going to change the outcome of anything. I have mentioned here that I am reading a devotional this year - Jesus Calling by Sarah Young (I do this in honor of my friend Joanne who is reading the same thing both before and since her stroke). Many, many of the daily readings are about anxiety or its opposite - trusting God. I must not be the only human that struggles with this issue. And I KNOW deeply that I have nothing to worry about. Every time I have trusted God, things have turned out (witness my husband and children). And still I struggle. I do have grace in this situation - I know that I will not change overnight and I know that this is more of a lifetime goal so today's story will just serve as one more reminder to keep letting go.

And now, some pictures:
Thomas is looking for Josh (we can see him as he walks home) - note the bear, a new addition.

We start the chores young. Charlotte loves to vacuum!

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