Tuesday, February 22, 2011

It's better when you tell the truth

Our kids really like Yo Gabba Gabba. Aside from the fact that it is kind of trippy, I like most of the stuff they sing about. Tonight's little lesson was about lying and how it is better when you tell the truth. I've been thinking a lot lately about the kind lie. The one you tell to get through the day and because you really don't feel like making the effort to say the truth. Lately, I've seen several places where this intention goes wrong. And, it starts to look less like not telling the truth and more like giving up. So that went on my list of things to change. Start by telling the truth, early and often (and not meanly, but kindly). For me, this mostly applies at work, but I love that I find Yo Gabba Gabba reinforcing it.

Today was one of those days where I had some questions about my parenting skills. I was making dinner and my son was sobbing. He wanted to go get the mail. I had told him earlier that we would go get the mail after dinner. So when I told him again, he threw a fit - which meant that we were certainly not going to get the mail until after dinner. So I went about cooking and he stomped around and cried and kept telling me that he would NOT eat dinner. Until he saw the hot dogs on Charlotte's tray and ate one. End of fit. It made me feel a lot better about holding the line because the reason I wanted to wait was that he tends to fall apart a little if he doesn't eat on time. Validation. And we were able to go and get the mail after a wonderful dinner in which we all played peek a boo, the kids ate a lot, including some green beans and I got to eat my whole dinner. That's my truth for the day. It is so tempting to give in when kids want something - keep the peace, make them happy, whatever. But, in the long run that just creates a monster that expects a sports car for his 16th birthday. So, while it is exhausting, we are going to help him learn some of this stuff early and hope that it translates into a kind hearted, patient, loving kid.

1 comment:

Joanne said...

Sometimes it is SO hard not to give in. We had the same thing tonight at our house...listening to the tantrum and waiting it out is extremely trying.